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Christmas Physics

Introduction to Christmas Physics

While pondering the existence of Santa Claus at a very young age, I was governed by the edict "Those who don't believe, don't receive". This ensured loyality to the legend. However over the years I developed the mind of a scientist and I collected suffient evidence to lead me to postulate the theory of Christmas Physics, all of which explains Santa Claus and his reported doings.

=== CHRISTMAS PHYSICS THEORY === Christmas Physics is a distant cousin of quantum theory. The Christmas phenomenon engery units, or "Santas", are convertible to units of standard engery, times and space. This allows the the apparent impossibilities of flying reindeer, around-the-world trip in one night, etc. "Santas" are generated by particles of "spirited" matter, known as "elves". "Elves" exists in nearly all lving beings capable of doing good deeds or acts of kindness. As "Santas" are generated, the being feels a sense joy/happiness/jolliness. However, a critcal mass of "elves" must be present to start the energy transformation. Only certain beings have a high concentration of "elves" and can generate the hugh "Santa mass" required. These are the "Santa Claus"s of our legends.

The shorter, colder days of winter and small children act as catalysts for this reaction. These catalysts allow beings with average amounts of "elves" ( less than "Santa mass") to transform a limited amount of "santas".

Unfortunately, anti-santa energy , "humbug", can disrupt the local field affect of "santa" conversion. The origin of "humbug" is unknown but may be related to bad plum pudding and holiday traffic jams. The interaction of high-engery "humbug" and large "santa mass" can lead to the "scrooge cascade". The result of the cascade depends on the quanta of each in the interaction.

Of course, this theory is not restricted to Western cultural legends. As most large populations have similar legends, this must be a universal occurance. Therefore, the Santa Claus story is not so much a fairy tale but a misunderstand of specialized physics.

=== DATA COLLECTION / OBSERVATIONS ===

WHAT'S MY PROOF? Every day you see bits of "santa" expressed by our "elves" - in acts of kindess and generosity, in the hope of peace, in the belief of a higher self. We seem to catalyze our "elves" around Christmas. We make time to do things we never have time for the rest of the year. We find addresses of old friends we contact only once a year. We express feelings we overwise keep secret. We expect the same from others.

=== CONCLUSION === So at Christmas time, let's work together to reach critical "santa" mass and make miracles happen...

by Susan Shinkai, resident revisionist and idealist, first Christmas Physicist

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