Since the fruitcake tradition appears to be unstoppable, this year I've decided to replace our family's fruitcake with a more durable one which we will cherish for years.
Items Needed ------------- 4 Oz. Fruit Bits 1 Railroad Tie Wood Saw Large Rubber Mallet Safety Goggles
WEAR YOUR SAFETY GOGGLES. (Children Get help from an adult!)
Cut a one-foot section from the middle of your railroad tie. The resulting block of wood should be the size and shape of a loaf of bread.
Then, take some fruit bits and pound them into the block with your rubber mallet. Spread the colors around, or you might wind up with an ugly fruitcake. Don't be afraid to throw some elbow grease into that mallet! Good fruit bits should be much harder than the railroad tie, so you can't break anything.
For best result, you should pre-treat the fruit bits by setting them on top of your garage for a year (or by microwaving them on HIGH for 30 minutes).
Finally, cover it tightly in plastic wrap, and give your loved ones the time- less and enduring gift of fruitcake!