The Landlord Files

Actual complaints and requests from rentors:

1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
2. The neighbors 18 year old son is continuously banging his balls against my fence. Not only is this making a heck of a noise, but the fence is now sagging in the middle.
3. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.
4. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the roof of the outside toilet and I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
5. I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
6. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.
7. Would you please send a man to repair my spout, I am an old age pensioner and need it bad.
8. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
9. Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.
10. The toilet seat is cracked - where do I stand?
11. I am a single woman living in a downstairs apartment and would be pleased if you could do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.